This blog was originally shared and written by Wendy Young on Your Scrumhalf Connection
The rugby community is often described as a family, bound together by camaraderie, teamwork, and unwavering support for one another. A recent story underscores the depth of this bond in a truly remarkable way. Traci Schmidtke Young has made an extraordinary gesture of kindness and generosity by donating a portion of her liver to Mike Tolkin, a legendary figure in American rugby.
Mike Tolkin’s Impact on Rugby
Mike Tolkin’s influence on rugby is profound. He has dedicated his life to the sport, achieving success as both a player and a coach. Tolkin won three national high school titles as a coach for Xavier High School and one as a player, making him the first person to win a high school championship both as a player and as a head coach. His accomplishments extend beyond high school rugby; he won four Super League titles as the Head Coach of NYAC, led the USA National Team, coached RUNY in Major League Rugby, and now serves as the General Manager of Premier Rugby Sevens. Additionally, he helped found the USA U19 program alongside Tony Smeeth and Mark Bullock.
Mike’s contributions to rugby have shaped the sport in the United States, and his influence is felt across generations of players and coaches. However, his battle with liver cancer put his life at risk, casting a shadow over his illustrious career and his future.
The Extraordinary Act of Kindness
Amidst this challenging time, the rugby community rallied around Mike. The search for a living donor began, and many individuals selflessly offered to undergo testing to see if they were a match. This collective effort is a testament to the strength and solidarity of the rugby family.
Traci emerged as the match Mike desperately needed. Her decision to donate a significant portion of her liver is an act of unparalleled generosity. On June 25, 2024, Mike shared the incredible news:
“I am extremely grateful and fortunate to have received this gift. Words will never be enough to express my appreciation, and I will forever be grateful to Traci and her family for giving me this opportunity.”
The surgery, which involved transplanting approximately 60% of Traci’s liver to Mike, took place on July 2, 2024. The operation was a success and Mike’s surgery team commented that
“It’s a BEAUTIFUL liver”.
Both Mike and Traci are now recovering well, and the rugby community has been deeply moved by this display of compassion and courage.
Traci’s Rugby Journey and Giving Spirit
Traci’s rugby journey is a rich tapestry of playing, coaching, refereeing, and being a tireless administrator. She was a co-captain and assistant coach of the Austin Valkyries and served as president of the Texas A&M women’s team. Traci’s playing chops include being a member and often captain of numerous select sides, including the TRU, Western, USA U23s, and TRU and Western RFU senior select sides. Her extensive playing experience served her well as a coach at the collegiate, club, and select side levels, and as a referee. She’s also held leadership roles as a TRU Board member, collegiate conference commissioner, Chair of the referee society, and World Rugby Educator. Currently, her rugby expertise has led her to event management for the TRU annual Summit Education Conference and Hall of Fame.
Traci has always been known for her giving spirit. She had hoped to be a surrogate to help families, both queer and non-queer, but was unable to fulfill that role.
“Our son was a gift from a special donor, and I wanted to pass that gift along to other families in need. Although I couldn’t fulfill that dream as a surrogate, I found another way to give through organ donation. Helping others in such a profound way brings me immense joy and fulfillment.”
This liver donation was another way for her to make a profound impact. The sacrifice she and her family made is immense. They had to relocate to New York City for the surgery, causing a major disruption as they had to stay for four weeks. This was a major surgery with a significant recovery time of six to nine months.
“So many of our friends have lost their fight to cancer or are still battling it, and we often feel so helpless, only able to offer our love and support. This was an opportunity to actually do something tangible, to make a real difference instead of just feeling powerless.”
Traci’s bravery and selflessness in making this decision demonstrate her deep commitment to helping others in any way she can.
The Power of the Rugby Community
Traci’s gift to Mike also highlights the extraordinary spirit of the rugby community. It’s a community where individuals go above and beyond to support each other, whether on the pitch or in life’s most critical moments. Traci’s bravery and selflessness have inspired many, reinforcing the idea that rugby is more than just a sport—it’s a way of life that fosters deep, meaningful connections.
In his message, Mike expressed his gratitude not only to Traci and her family but also to the countless others who supported him during this journey. He acknowledged the efforts of friends and colleagues, including Bruce McLane, Kitty McNally, Tim Walsh, Dallen Stanford, and many more who played pivotal roles in finding a donor and providing unwavering support.
“During this process, whenever I told someone I was donating part of my liver, they would often respond that they could never imagine themselves doing it. I always questioned that—why couldn’t they? Mike is someone’s brother, uncle, and partner. If that was your family member, wouldn’t you want someone to help them? I can’t imagine not helping. You can. I’m proof of that.”
Mike’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of organ donation and the impact it can have on saving lives. It calls on all of us to consider how we can contribute to such noble causes, whether through donation or other forms of support.
A Community United
The rugby community’s response to Mike’s plight has been nothing short of extraordinary. From the grassroots level to professional ranks, individuals have come together, embodying the true spirit of the sport. This incredible act of kindness by Traci serves as a beacon of hope and a testament to the enduring strength of the rugby family.
As Mike continues his recovery, we celebrate the resilience, generosity, and unity that define the rugby community. Traci’s gift is a poignant reminder of what can be achieved when people come together with a common purpose—proving once again that rugby is a sport with heart, soul, and an unbreakable bond among its members.
Thank you, Traci, for your incredible gift. And thank you, Mike, for your enduring contributions to rugby and for reminding us of the profound impact we can have on each other’s lives.
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